Lost for a minute

Holy H.R. Puffnstuff I was having trouble paying attention today. I’m not sure what was going on as I first noticed the problem four Diet Cokes deep. The training was new material so it should have grabbed me but I wasn’t doing any of it so the mind (okay my broken brain) tends to wander…

While sitting in the back of the room I began to think about world problems and it reminded me that a trip to India might be in my future. It seems that they are beating and torturing poor people for killing delicious cattle and this is something I cannot tolerate. I can stand a lot of atrocities but hurting folks for eating perfectly crafted god given food hits my limit and officially chaps my ass.

By the way of you are a vegetarian or vegan do what ever makes you happy. More for me. But once you hit me with a tone suggesting you are somehow better with your iron poor blood and calcium deficiency we can no longer be friends. You’ll never find me whining at you for the mindless slaughter of innocent plants. Greens are murder as well as a nice edible carpet for my food.

I have an easier time forgiving an alcoholic working the program. I normally don’t like quitters but I understand that things get out of control. Plus you guys are usually too wrapped up in your own stuff to piss all over me and mine. I’d like to meet the dude that gets all hopped up on bacon wrapped steak and beats his significant other. For a lot of reasons, not all what you think. Part of it is I’ve never had a steak that made me want to punch someone so we would need to eat some fightin’ meat together me and him.

Anyway, I wouldn’t cross the street for most causes but the harassment of innocent carnivores is a violation of basic human rights that I will not tolerate. Imagine the prime beef just wandering the streets over there waiting for a giant terrorist with a bib, knife, fork, salt and pepper. I’m not worried about fire as India is roughly three blocks from the sun and strewn with tinder. I’m drooling now so I gotta go.

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