Excerpt from actual letter

To whom it may concern at the Hampton Inn & Suits,

First off, while I’ve got you, the name of your hotel sucks. I know you were a purchased legacy brand but you are a Hilton now so try and act like it. What would be wrong with just Hampton? Anyway, that was an aside and not the point of this letter.

The real reason I’m writing today has to do with the false post-it-notes that you have installed in your rooms. Why? Is this to remind me that even if the brand and the rest of the hotel seems stale at least the stuff I sleep on is fresh? I don’t get it and I consider myself fairly quick in most areas. This just seems like an unnecessary attempt at humanizing this hotel. I would ask for an explanation but I’m sure the genus behind this idea has already been fired for incompetence and you put them up because you already spent the money on printing.

Also, I find myself in a hotel under repair but that wasn’t noted anywhere on your website when I booked this room. I mentioned this to the front desk staff this morning and was meet with blank stares. While I admire your hiring of the handicapped their lack of direction leaves your customers without answers. This brings me to the final part of my note. I would like to suggest that you cover the front desk personel in those preprinted post it notes. Each one could contain an empathy statement and a solution. They could still stand there like manaquins and your customers could pluck satisfactory answers to common questions form their bodies.

I included my name and rewards number in the rest but you get the idea. I am tired.

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