*editors note: I took doen the picture as it is a clear violation of someone’s privacy. sorry
That blurry ass picture is brought to you by the not so good people at sneak over in the middle of the night to take it corporation. The picture is horrible but you get the drift. I edited it down as to cut out information that does not need to be broadcast by me without the express written permission of the homeowner which I will never get because I will never ask. I am just a not so innocent bystander in this particular situation. The redder than red sticker is generating quite a buzz with the day walkers. Clumps of them can be seen daring each other to go up and read what it says. I could just tell them but what would be the fun in that? Tonight I will start the rumor that human remains were found beneath the hoard and everything ground to a halt.
The dude who called it in is displaying typical guilt behavior as he and his dog have been circling all day. He joins in with anyone who wants to talk which I find amusing as I do a better than average impersonation of his particular speech impediment but I will just let him enjoy his fifteen minutes of tattletale fame. He should be careful about who he brags to because as my children learned from a young age; Snitches Get Stitches.
In other news I am cutting out BookFace for a while. Between the election nonsense and people trying to convince everyone that the latest thing they are trying is the best I’ve had enough. Plus, all that noise has really cut down on my ability to peek into peoples lives. I had another idea for something I would subscribe to and I call it Echo Listens. Those Amazon Echo things are always on and listening so I figured that the good folks at that retail behemoth could charge a small monthly price and let me tune around randomly listening to live audio from inside unsuspecting households. No names or anything creepy like that, okay the entire concept is super creepy but that is beside the point, just raw random audio. And maybe some algorithm that would let me know when people were screaming at each other. I would bet those things capture some awesome screaming matches. Amazon, feel free to take that idea as I know you are everywhere, but you should know that ours is unplugged in a drawer until my wife wants to listen to music. All I ask for the idea is a free subscription and a secret decoder ring that would let me see who is talking.