ya, so this

*Editors note: This is just some personal venting so if you’re here looking for something funny move along. As it is the third time Ive written in as many days only to delete before posting because it was boring self pity I figured I should just lay this egg to get it out to move on. To set the stage consider your current household income. Now reduce that by a third and increase your monthly expenses. That feeling in your stomach? proceed.

There has been a lot of soul searching here in the skull of stupidtom. I currently find myself feeling trapped by circumstance. I tell you this not to complain about my situation but to let you know that this is eating up the majority of my brain cycles. I made a couple runs at posting over the last few days but they both traveled down a road that made me uncomfortable. The writing headed in directions that blamed other people and circumstances (no I am not being paid by the number of times I write “circumstance” but that would be three if there is anyone out there who does that…) for my current situation and that is not who I am. I will think myself clear of this quagmire even if it means some extreme changes in my life.

Writing in this for instance is going to happen when it happens. The reality is that while I do so love this thing and the fact that I control my own internet Gilligan’s Island makes me smile this will never be a money making venture. And it is money or the lack there of that haunts my every waking hour. I do have a couple things out there for some paid side writing gigs and if anything comes of it I will let you know. Well, maybe not because the other-paid-words will most likely be under my real life name and I have tried to keep that disconnected from this nonsense. Oh well. sorry.

But something else that I have started in motion could yield some benefit for the twenty or so of you. If I end up driving for a ride share company on the weekends you can bet I will have some stories to tell. That is in the early stages as well because we are already down one car and ipso facto (no idea where that just came from) the lack of funds infinite loop continues.

Again, don’t take this as anything other than me attempting to think my way out of a situation. Maybe writing it down here will help dislodge a solution. I am going to travel a little more which will help keep our heads above water but then keeps me away from home which triggers other results. It’s an awesome hamster wheel I’ve landed upon.

So that’s it. Nothing more and probably less than most people are dealing with.

In other news a book that I got from a guy I love to read came yesterday so now I have something to read on my trip. If you have never read Mark Manson I highly recommend him and his work.

 

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