Oh travel how I’ve missed you

This has been one of those days. It started off great. My cabbie was an ex MMA fighter and told me stories about being a bouncer in Brooklyn. I forgave the stench of knock off cologne because the stories were highly entertaining. Once he dropped me off things went south. My flight was delayed an hour due to “Air Traffic Control” which I came to find out means nothing. Three different United employees gave me three different excuses so I took it to mean that we were delayed because they can.

Once we were on the plane for a half hour we were told that it would be at least another 45 minutes before take off but if anyone wanted to disembark they should stay close. A couple weak individuals took them up on it but I didn’t see the point for an hour and a half in the air. Sure enough ten minutes after that announcement we were good to go. Now we just had to wait on the wanderers to re-board. All but one got back on in under ten minutes. 25 minutes later the last straggler breathlessly got on board. He was too loud talking about how he was booking a surgery for his child. The audible bullshit call from the other side of the bus made me snort as I tried to suppress belly laughing.

He went on and on about this story he had obviously just made up because the details got more vivid as he moved through the tale. I warned him (seat behind me so the sound was aimed at the back of my melon) that there were people with connections on our flight that wished him harm. I suggested he shut up and pretend to fall asleep because his story sucked. When I asked if his kid was named Tiny Tim I got a couple of laughs and he got the hint. Another friend that will never be…

Flash to me trying to figure out New Jersey construction and three different navigation apps. What was supposed to take me a half hour came in just under two. Once I was headed into Manhatten and I was one exit shy of being committed to a tunnel. All of this was happening during rush hour which turned a typical shitshow into a diarrhea fire hose. Side note; I might have spent upwards of forty dollars in tolls.

And finally I have made a grave hotel miscalculation. This is close to my work but one of those residence inns that I despise. Something just ain’t right about the long term residents knowing each other and chatting in the halls. That behavior should be saved for conventions and weddings. And the cherry atop this day of travel fun is the cricket that a half hours hunting has determined is inside of the wall will not shut up. I could call downstairs but I’ve had enough. Time for a sleep reset button.

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