Everyone has stuff going on in their lives my current problem is my current shitnado is all I want to write about but since this isn’t completely anonymous that wouldn’t be fair. So the sporadic posting is just the way it might be for a while. I also give you this background because I went a little unnecessary thermonuclear in the grocery store earlier today and I figured that was safe to talk about. Let me also set the table by saying that I hate grocery shopping. It is not my usual end of the bargain. I make a run to a big superstore and but the heave things like drinks, laundry detergent, and dog food. When I do go I need input from the family or else I come home with all the wrong things. Today the only one giving me any input was the boy so you might imagine the stuff that ended up in my cart.
I was laughing to myself as I unloaded it on the checkout treadmill. The theme or title of this shop could easily have been Diabetic Suicide. My headphones were on and loud as to discourage human interaction but I noticed that the dude in front of me was scowling in my general direction. When I inquired as to a potential problem he answered by asking if I was going to feed that stuff to my kids. I was taken aback probably because I would never comment on someone else’s purchases unless they were my friend and I wanted to break their balls. My not answering was some sort of opening for further input. He began to talk about the obesity epidemic when I cut him off.
“listen up asshole you need to turn around and wait to pay for that pile of foliage and purge me from your memory banks. You might have noticed that I didn’t ask who you were going to torture with that pile of BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE lawn clippings… it’s because I don’t care. I am glad you are healthy and I hope you live two hundred friendless unfun years. Now kindly fuckoff.”
I am going to keep a tick sheet of known never will be my friends. I would bet the number would make me smile had I been keeping track all these years.