If you are going to have the personal license plate that reads SERVGOD I feel like you should drive in an exemplary manner. Instead I had to stare at this thing for more than a half hour yesterday as he was one of the speed limit entitled. These people are under the mistaken belief that their status as a licensed driver as well as a tax paying Merican gives them the right to drive as slow as they wish in the far left lane. This is wrong. If you are a lawyer type who is tempted to tell me the letter of the law regarding federal interstate highways don’t bother. I hate you and your opinion is nonsense. The signs on the road that clearly state SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT apply to everyone.
The slow thirty plus minutes of torture allowed my mind to wander and I came up with a new invention idea. The Rebuttal Bumper Sticker. It’s not really a bumper sticker in the traditional sense of the words but more like a scrolling LED display permanently attached to the back of your vehicle. I would be paired to your smartphone and linked up with your systems virtual assistant. I also needs to be fluent in swear and able to be summoned hands free.
My vision is once you finally pass the rolling speed bump or whomever you would like to communicate with you ask Siri to tell the asshole behind you something. Example from yesterday:
“Hey Siri, I need to tell the person behind me something. Okay what would you like to say? I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH GOD AND HE SAYS YOU COULD BETTER SERVE HIM BY NOT DRIVING LIKE AN OLD DICK. Okay I’ll tell the driver behind you I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH GOD AND HE SAYS YOU COULD BETTER SERVE HIM BY NOT DRIVING LIKE AN OLD DICK“
I need to reach out to one of the many scrolling LED apps already on the market as I own two or three. Nothing makes folks laugh quite like a scrolling SHUT THE FUCK UP in the middle of a meeting.