I’m not complaining

But this weather is beginning to scare me. Its the first week in November and I was outside sweating in a t shirt. Normally I would just chalk that up to my heart preparing its attack but it was dam hot out there. The poor remaining cold weather dog is standing around in a cloud of her own hair like the Samoyed version of Pig Pen. And then this whole time change has me jammed up as well. I am so twisted up about this election that I would vote for the candidate who swore to abolish this time change nonsense as my personal pivotal issue. Shallow? Possibly. But we all have our things and both of these crazy assholes scare me. It is a strange day indeed when I find myself longing for the relative calm crazy of H. Ross Perot.

And speaking of voting I hope they don’t frown on cell phone use in the booth because I have my Candidates Who Called List which consists of telemarketing volunteers who called my home and were rude or the candidate left a robo message. I think we have firmly established that I answer all phone calls. I love me a nice telemarketing professional but when you want my vote you had better be nice. Even if I am a complete dick, be nice. Or else get your candidate or issue added to my list which means that even if you are the only one running (If that were the case why would you call?) I will not vote for you. I really enjoy that part of voting and even if it doesn’t sway the election one way or another I want the words I used to be true.

I should also note that I don’t turn while on a call unless provoked and that can happen by ignoring what I say or trying to talk down to me. The standard speech to those who should not be stumping for a candidate goes a little something like this… “Before your call I might have voted for your person but now that we have met I will NEVER do that. YOU are completely to blame and your time as it relates to this conversation was worse than wasted. You convinced someone to switch away… Congrats”

Pollsters need to tell me who is paying for the survey before I will answer. That is fun because they don’t want to and in some cases they can’t. If they tell me then I will answer all questions, maybe not with complete truth or lack of malice but I will answer none the less. If they cant or wont I usually just demand their supervisor and my removal from their list. I know that the list they are calling from is my voters registration so I ask for their company name and once given I let them know that the least I can do is to lodge a complaint with my local election board. Some of them get super shitty when that happens.

I’ve got to get back to this weird ass Sunday. Ive got a feeling that this week is going to get bumpy.

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