child abuse judgement call

501564962.208534

Happy Holiday Holy Balls there is a LOT going on in this picture! My brother and I are taking a Christmas card shot with a mall Santa who just happened to work for my Dad. Meeting him undisguised probably calmed my normal flight or flight response but you can tell things are still a bit bumpy and I mean that literally. Our hands our supposed to be in our laps but my brother is being restrained by that big kid catchers mitt but he is bracing on the arm of the chair and me for a speedy exit. Luckily his jaunty vest looks break away in case that guy tries to wrap those sausages around it during his escape.

And speaking of those outfits… WHAT?! At least you can look at my brother without getting dizzy. Plus he has that sweet belt buckle and mock turtle neck breaking things up a bit. But his stripes are all lined up. Me on the other hand, wow. You would think more would have been done to highlight my long sleeve bright red dress shirt. Neither of us had quite grown into our heads yet and speaking of melons, my brothers haircut…

Evil Santa is seated on a sharp throne of tin with wooden arms as not to cut the pretty little children. These people are once again adults hiding their true identity and should be avoided at all cost. We didn’t wait in line like everyone else. We got to go before the crowds showed up. Santa still bright eyed and smelling of Hai Karate and Lifebuoy. Later in the day he would smell like sweat and sadness. On the charges of child abuse in the lightest degree count 1: planting your children firmly in the lap of an obvious predator and count 2: humiliating matching outfits. how find you?

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