please parking zone

The school across from the house if back in full swing and due to the appendage freezing temperatures the already anxious exercise of picking up your kids is amplified. There is a system to the madness that I won’t bore you with because something similar has been endlessly documented in every bad movie about parenting. It usually involves waiting in line and taking your turn, being patient, just a couple of the core competencies we want our children to grasp when they are in the building. The parents who park on my street are the ones who can’t conform. They park over here and walk up to retrieve their offspring or better yet they sit and wait for the child to navigate to the vehicle by themselves. I should have mentioned that these are the youngest exiting on my side of the school.

If I am not on the phone and doing some work that requires concentration during the final bell I am sometimes treated to the occasional shouting match and random horn honk. But today someone leaned on their noisemaker like they were being paid to do it. I walked over to the window to see two SUV’s nose to nose with both drivers possibly screaming at each other through their windshields. I say possibly because they are buttoned up tight as am I from inside my bunker but that didn’t stop the mad scramble for my phone.


By the time I got back the moment had passed. It was probably someone who waited in that ridiculous line honking at someone else who bucked the system. Or someone who waited through that nightmare who couldn’t muster one more ounce of patience. With all of the rule breakers plus the bitter cold things get more congested the closer you get to the school. I was selfishly hoping to film a fight but was sadly disappointed. You can’t really tell from that horrendous shot but parking in front of my place is sparse. That is due to my training of the drivers when the weather is warm.

I like to randomly sprinkle the gutter in front with dog crap. It is an abundant resource around here and I get a huge kick of watching folks check their shoes for trouble after they exit their cars. It wouldn’t do much good right now but come the spring thaw Tommy Poopie Seed will be back at it. If you are my real life neighbor have no fear. This only happens on Garbage day due to laziness and it is never around for more than a 24 hour period. (a fact I find more than a little disturbing if I’m being honest) Also, real life friends, if you rat me out I will have to find other funny uses for my endless supply of ammunition. Just throwing that out there…

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