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With the eldest child running her first half marathon in Florida and the wife along for support the white hairball is more confused than ever. She has spent the last two days waiting for this cruel joke to end. After I took the shot I realized it contained a number of household mysteries. Front and almost center is the makes-no-sense-crockery-full-of-holes. I think this is supposed to be a decorative candle holder thing but it’s huge and heavy and I don’t get it. It’s like a decorative toilet you put candles in because it serves no other purpose due to the ornamental holes. Sophisticated in my taste I am not and this thing confuses me.

Next up is Praying Mary who is precariously positioned too close to the dog perch where nothing porcelain should live although if anyone has a shot at survival it’s her.  Above Ma Mary (no lightning just yet I am happy to report) is a lamp affectionately known as the skin shade. Not really sure what the designer was thinking but it looks like something that would have been in Ed Gein’s front room when lit. If you don’t know Ed you have been exposed to some of his fine work through various forms of media just look him up and you’re welcome. Behind that is the neverending wall of coats. There are five humans residing in this house AND there is a coat closet crammed full so this area was supposed to be for active jackets and guests. No matter the time of year and in spite of the fact that I don’t have a single thing on it, the amount never goes down. I have offered cash rewards that have resulted in a single day population reduction but then like a magic trick its back. But oddly my money never reappears…. I really need to rethink that whole thing.

And so ends my academy awards post.


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