Yesterday was a stupidtom service provider day of reconning. “I’ve had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more.” to quote a tragic cartoon semi-superhero from my youth that I don’t have time to talk about so I will not mention his forearm gigantism or his superpower being dependent on a leafy green vegetable of all things. I am in a constant state of threatened quit. Cell phone provider, internet service provider, etc. If I have a choice then I am always prepared to move.

Two days ago I made my once a quarter call to my internet company and was assigned my own business sales person. This was already an upgrade in my dealings with the organization but the rest did not disappoint. A new offer was built as the company prices come in line with other offerings from cempeting vendors and it basically worked out that I would get three times the already fast speed for twenty more dollars per month. This means little to you but around the castle it is everything. I wanted to keep my old equipment because everything is setup just the way I like it (which actually means I got it set perfectly but have no idea how to recreate it if necessary) but as with most upgrades, new equipment was needed.

The technician presented the new modem as if he were letting me see my new baby for the first time and I could not have cared less. He began to go through all of the features and was stunned silent when I told him to turn them all off. He tried to protest but I told him that I wanted more internet flow not features that I will never use. I’m not sure if he is secretly on the Arris payroll or why having things available turned off bothered him so much but I really didn’t care. After twenty minutes he acquiesced and I had screaming fast internet on all my stuff with only three out of seven modem lights lit. He kept mumbling about features that were better or some nonsense which irritated me thus triggering my screw-with-response.

“Dude, will you please shut the hell up about the stupid modem! All I care about is my wife’s donkey punch porn not pixelating while we are trying to watch. They don’t broadcast that shit on cable.”

He was no longer interested in anything I had to say. I was trying to utter something so obscure that he would look it up later but I might have stumbled upon a connoisseur of the aforementioned adult entertainment. Oh well, but once that thought crossed my brain I never turned my back on him again.

Next up was AT&T. I am so sick of Data warning texts and overage charges that I called up due to my pretend move over to T-Mobile. The agent didn’t even have to work hard because that company has obviously been feeling the heat from their competition and stepped up with a reasonably priced unlimited plan. So now I am officially retired from the nagging about data use game. The plan was basically a wash where money is concerned but it includes a ton more. I am officially happy with both services. for now…

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