Springbroke

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This travel schedule has me spinning just a bit and I only realized today that most of my family is on Spring Break this week. Financial circumstances beyond control have locked down vacation travel but all are making the best of a less than optimal situation. As the only one working in the house, tomorrow should be interesting but I leave again the next day so all will be normal for me. Anyway, I found a filter on one of the programs I was cleaning off of my phone that turned people into Max Headroom so I decided to try it out on the boy and his cat playing video games. I am here for nothing if not to annoy.

And speaking of annoying in an unintentional but brilliant segue I just finished watching a 60 Minutes story on fake news and it confirmed and amplified my worst thinking. ANYONE can write ANYTHING and get it promoted to a top story on whichever social media you please. The worse the title and or the premise of the article the better. I am not going to retell their show but I highly recommend it if you can watch. It got me thinking which is always dangerous and not about writing stories of radioactive anal fissures being caused by eating vegetables of any kind but my thoughts wandered to Facebook. I have an idea for them that they can steal for free and I hope that by mentioning their name at the end of the last sentence spelled the way they like it will draw the attention of their internet spiders.

The idea is that they come up with a button that will allow me to filter out everything but a post from a person. Maybe take it a step further and let me pay a small fee to block all ads and annoying re-posts while you are at it. I just want to keep tabs on the people I stalk not see what sixty second slow cooker recipe they think they HAVE TO TRY! YUM. Or worse yet their posting and commenting on something completely made up and adding something brilliant to the top of it like “I told you so…” Enough already. I want to see pictures of you and your family doing shit. That’s it. Also include yourself once in a while. You are not hideous, its called getting old and it happens to us all. And your house. I am a student of decor and I need to see the things you surround yourself with…

Right now is spring break time and I love trying to read into the family pics. I look for the one family member who tells the true tale of the days events with a forced halfassed smile. If your not going to tell me a story with your photojournalism then I will just have to write my own. I was scanning through an endless line of family beach pictures of an old friend that included everyone but her. One of our mutual friends even made a comment that she wanted to see her smiling face as well but the friend commented back that she was always behind the camera. It took everything I had not to post my obvious only to my sick mind conclusions. Just get in the damn pictures already. And Facebook, let me just see the things I want to watch. Now back to your regularly scheduled internet.

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