No Waze

Waze has pissed me off for the last time and now I cant wait for their ginormous parent company to assimilate them completely. I used to love the damn thing and it’s hippy crowd-sourcing vibe. I never understood how I was supposed to safely report traffic incidents complete with pictures while driving but that was beside the point. The thing that kept me coming back over the Google offering which has much of the technology already folded in or the Apple version which works automatically with all my stuff was the celebrity voices. James Earl Jones was the original way back in 2013 that got me to give them a try. I was hooked and the others weren’t up to snuff so I stayed when they took his voice away thinking they would bring it back next update.

I have enjoyed the different directional narrators along the way but none as much as I did Keith Morrison. He would tell me in hi creepy voice “you’ve arrived at your destination… Or have you?”

And now the voice has been removed so I have removed the app. Android people don’t even think about explaining how I could sideload voices if I didn’t have an iPhone. The fact that I know the term sideload already makes me feel dirty and your adherence and loyalty to a telephone operating system is exactly why I have the other one. You have a super keen setup with customizable everything but who in the hell is it for? When Android friends show me their fancy setups I look away in disgust just to get a reaction. Your phone’s better, you win, but I still get poor people buttons every time I text you.

Bill Hader doing Keith Morrison is the best (video not the best but all I could find on short notice) enjoy.


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