I answered a call last night that I thought was my wife calling me back. I answered with a too familiar “hi” reserved for those closest to me and the person on the other end didn’t know how to respond.

If you know my wife then you won’t be surprised to learn that sometimes when she calls she isn’t fully prepared to talk. Might be carrying something or struggling with the transition from car to house, any one of a thousand distractions that mean you just wait patiently for her to remember she dialed.

Instead of her voice I was greeted by an obviously English is a second language speaker asking who they were talking to.

“You first.”

The trick with telemarketers from another land is to knock them off of their script. The only way to get that done is to communicate like a crazy person.

He asked again to whom he was speaking and I asked for his name again. Once he told me I asked for his social security number and was given a full thirty seconds of silence. Once you take them off script they get real confused plus I was probably the first one to say social security number to him.

“Sir, again, this is Robert. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with this evening?” So I asked where he thought I was and why he assumed it was evening. This again was followed by a delightful amount of silence. When he came back on he started to speak but I interrupted by asking if he owned a car.

I could do that for hours but Bobby had had enough and hung up. He was weak. There was a woman a couple years ago who fenced with me for thirty three minutes. It was amazing. I was down to opening books and reading random questions.

If you’re not looking for little ways to have fun the you’re not having enough.

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