equated

I received an almost anonymous email from an old reader who knew to contact me at stupidtom dot com. It was a nice note about keeping the folks in those places entertained. First, I get it. Shitty situation all around. No one wants to plant their parents in a home of any kind but sometimes circumstances dictate. My comments weren’t shots and any of that but were all directed at me and my personal position. (I don’t have a second or any other thoughts in list form so I have no idea why I started down that road but I didn’t want the OCD amongst you to get twisted up waiting for something that wasnt coming)

My children are very aware that if by some cruel twist of fate I end up with one of the mind erasing diseases then they are to plant wherever it makes the most sense. Any by that I mean cheap and located wherever THEY please because what in the difference will it make to me?  Also, The day I don’t recognize them is their final day of obligatory visitation. Feel free to trot me out for holidays if I am at all entertaining but if I turn into a human hemorrhoid then leave me where I sit. (pun not intended  but enjoyed none the less) Again, what would I know different?

I read a lot and have a vivid imagination so odds are good that wherever my mind has drifted will be pretty good. Anyhow, that is not to depress you all with my tilted take on aging it was to explain that my personal version of hell includes being pushed around a table with a bunch of other patients batting balloons with paper towel rolls. There wasnt even a scoring system… complete bullshit.

As long as were talking about the elderly I noticed a new scam at Wal-Mart. They have taken tennis balls and branded them with their generic Equate health care brand, cut a slit in the top and bagged them in pairs.

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Assholes. They sell an entire can of those things for around $2. I took the picture because I was stunned by this development. When my 90 year old Grandpa modified his walker with tennis balls to reduce drag during his laps I thought it was funny. This must be a growing problem for Wally World to put all of this R&D time into their solution. Where the heck are the walker manufacturers on this one? How hard would it be to invent something like this that fit and looked a little better? Yellow is not the ideal constant floor contact color either. Come on people, I can’t do all the thinking here.

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