A letter to my becoming adult children

Hey guys, it is I, your father typing. (as if you didn’t know that already from the whole stupidtom thing) I realize that this might seem douchey writing you all a note on a web site but honestly I didn’t know how it would have a better shot at being read. And when I say read I mean more than glanced at and ignored. The same goes for this page but I think more than an email, text, direct message, etc. this has the best shot at delivering my thoughts. So here we go…

I find myself currently experiencing a bit of a midlife crisis. No I am not announcing that your mother and I are splitting up or that I have something crazy planned on the immediate horizon I just have some thoughts that need conveying so I’m just going to jump right in.

A big portion of my life so far has been an attempt at making sure everyone in my family is happy. Not in an entertain you sort of way but more like an obsession with providing. The not graduating from college thing and all of its associated horseshit probably has a lot to do with that  but as you grow older I think this is more and more of a disservice.

I buy you things and attempt to steer you towards certain behaviors with bribes of one kind or another and that is ridiculous. You are all in some phase of finding your own way in the world and its time for me to stop trying to push you toward some expectations that I probably formed when you were little kids. I always thought that I had one main job with all of you and that was to not release more assholes into the world. I genuinely like the people you turned out to be so its time for me to dial back the parenting at this point.

I have been reading a lot lately in an effort to lift this current fog. We had a guest speaker at work named John Maxwell who happened to be an author that I love. While he was on stage I realized that I mistakenly thought I was in charge of everyone’s happiness. Turns out the only person I can make truly happy is me and I need to get busy doing just that.

I am not resigning my position as your Dad I just want to shift into more of an advisory role. People out in the world pay me for my help and advice and I would like to formally offer it to the three of you. No expectations, no strings attached. If you ever have anything you want to run by me just let me know. I will give you every angle I can see and help you figure out the best whatever. Even if you just want to talk about something and NOT solve it (you are going to have to warn me about those because my natural state is fix) I truely like talking to the three of you.

I love you even when you have completely pissed me off. ~Dad

And so ends this strange private conversation held out in public. Not really public though as there are only a dozen or so people stopping by on any given day and most people don’t read the long ones without pictures.

 

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