on tilt

I am in the midst of One of Those Days where the line between calm and triggered is razor-thin. I know it’s all me because in my various interactions so far I am the only constant but it doesn’t take the scientific method to figure out that I am the asshat in the room.

Part of this is the past two weeks on the road with only a single days break in between. The first was a solid week of teaching which means good mood and game face every day. These people pay a lot of money to have me out and they deserve no less than my best shot. I caught a mild case of food poisoning halfway through that trip but once again that had nothing to do with the business that contracted my services so I just had to suck it up, literally, and finish strong.

I do this corny thing every morning when I’m on the road but for some reason I’m hesitant to write about it here. Screw it, very few folks read this crap anyway and I have a high embarrassment tolerance anyway… (how about you delay a little more high tolerance guy)

So I tell myself every morning before I leave the hotel room that I’m going to have a great day. I say it in the mirror over and over until I believe it. Some times it’s a one shot deal other days like last week might take a half-dozen or so. For those old enough to remember Stuart Smalley from Saturday night live it’s a harsher, shorter, and more meant to knock me out of whatever petty worry is currently consuming my brain cycles. Dumb as it sounds it works.

This probably has a lot to do with the fact that I am laughing at myself every time I do it but what the hell. I don’t do this at home because this is my happy place. My office is truly one of my favorite spaces on the planet and I don’t find a need to gear up when I’m here. Except this morning.

Now that I’ve typed about it there is no way I’m searching out a mirror just to try to turn this tugboat around. And speaking of mirrors (approacheth the segue king) Anyone who maintains fancy facial hair for long is an asshole. This crazy long moustache is really getting on my nerves. I wake up to one side or another sticking straight out of my face. If I don’t plaster it down with some product or another it keeps finding a way into my mouth. Add to that the fact that it keeps showing up in my peripheral vision and the clock is ticking on this thing.

It’s too bad because it makes me laugh every time I see a reflection but it doesn’t grow away from my lips and into a villain curl all by itself. Probably kissing this thing goodbye (pun not intended but welcomed none the less) tonight as I have had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more.

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