Soft serve delivery

It snowed.

Way more than normal but no need to name the storm or add a dramatic made up term to it like blizzaster. It just snowed a bunch and now it’s cold. Anyone who lives around here understands the science involved.

You shovel as much of the heavy snow as you can as many times as you can over the course of a twelve hour storm. Get things as clean as possible knowing full well that the plow drivers are going to unintentionally screw you overnight. They have to go at speed to clear the streets which sends waves of brown slush arcing everywhere.

The next day if it’s cold you have no shot at cleaning anything even if you bought all the ice melt in the area. You can try but it’s a fools errand. So when I heard a delivery truck out front and realized that my duck blind was blinder than normal…

I got to the front door just in time to see my delivery dude go ass over teacup and my box take flight. When he handed me my package he had the nerve to bitch at me about the ice on my frozen surface of the moon driveway. No mention about flinging my package which happened to be a drunken kickstarter frying pan but he didn’t know that.

Why don’t you move somewhere warm where someone as soft as you are will have a better chance at survival?

I got nothing in response and he couldn’t even hurry away as he had to traverse back down the ice field. I stayed at the door until he climbed back in his truck knowing he would glance back up at me and when he did I waived.

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