This morning went much better than expected as I decided to go to the emissions testing facility early to try and beat the bulk of the line. Early enough to grab the pole position from some idiot who was waiting at the mouth of the line area as if he would just pick whichever lane opened first. His glare of disgust was no match for my ear to ear grin (I almost wrote shit eating grin but stopped myself as I don’t understand smiling whilst consuming excrement…) as I scooted on by due to his poor planning.

Then as I pulled up I noticed that this visit was going to completely cut out one of my other planned trips of the day. license renewal stickers are sold through the Department of Motor vehicles on-line but if you wait until the last-minute or need one of these annoying smog checks then you need to buy them in person. In years past I have gone to the currency exchange and paid their exorbitant mark up for the privilege of same day compliance with the law minus the DMV lines. But now I got to get the whole thing taken care of right there.

And guess which door opened first… That’s right door number one and I turned my head in exaggerated slow motion with a big smile. I held it long enough for the two of us to make eye contact before entering my bay. I tried to extend my taunting across our sound proof booths but he wasn’t having it. The booth is a little two person max capacity room you stand in while the dangerous fumes are evaluated by the government employee.

And then my examiner was a special needs gentleman who made me smile not due to his disability but because he didn’t let it stop him from working. This gig kind of sucks as well so good for him. So severe is his handicap that even if he failed your vehicle you would just smile and say “that’s okay” because in the grand scheme…

Even with my handicapable examiner I still got out first and as I pulled around to the front office for sticker procurement I sauntered in like the cock of the walk. Bo real idea what that phrase means either but I was being a bit of a penis so it fits. He sat in his car the entire time I was transacting thus allowing two people to get in line behind me. I think my new temporary foe took this early morning L hard.

The rest of the errands went well and there is a story I want to tell but it has to wait until after Christmas. It revolves around a present for the Mrs. I will say that I shook a regular sized dude’s hand today and audibly gasped. (look at me teasing future content)

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