At the risk of being a complete obvious idiot it’s cold. Wet skin stuck to the side of a deep freeze cold and I should know. My grandma warned me not to mess with the ice on the side of the freezer especially if my hands were wet. This was a factor because the basement frozen chest contained all of my favorite summertime treats And I often went digging completely covered in sweat.

The ice cream sandwiches were blocked in by a particularly large chunk so I snapped it off to get the deliciousness. Once the ice in my hand I noticed it didn’t stick. So like a dumbass I licked my lips and pressed them to the surface. Oh no! Stuck like glue.

Can’t tell Grandma because she told me not to do this so I panicked.

I tore it off. OUCH!!!

When I looked at the ice there were my lips right there and the sight plus the pain made me cry. I walked over to a mirror and my entire mouth hole was bleeding profusely. It was a nightmare and I was ultimately discovered because there was blood all over my shirt. Well that and newly forming scabs for lips.


Anyway, the middle child’s car is frozen solid at the mall where she works. We went there today to try and retrieve it with no luck. I had a bunch of supplies to thaw out the doors but it was no go. In fact I thought I was making progress when I thought the back hatch moved so I pulled hard and snapped off a big piece of the car. I am an idiot and the car will probably get towed on Thursday.

Who lives here on purpose?

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