Awfully Awesome

I am currently experiencing one of those valleys in life that you just have to navigate. The problem, when it comes to writing in this thing, is shitty situations tend to take up more than their fair share of brain. No apologies or further explanation just something everyone goes through now and again. I tell you this because personal life storms make my job harder.

I am up in front of a room filled with 50 people who paid good money for my best effort. I’m giving it to them but it’s exhausting. Fall asleep at 7:45 and never stir exhaustion. But I went to bed with a smile on my face.

As I dragged myself back to the hotel I was fantasizing about turning on the TV and not interacting with humans. Waiting for the elevator with another weary traveler neither of us were paying much attention and crowded the doors.

A woman with a horrified look on her face couldn’t even wait for us to move as she shot in-between and past. Again, slower than usual about noticing things, I made my way in and told my pilot the floor I needed. He made a weird noise so I looked up from my phone apparently the same time I needed some air.

The olfactory assault was all consuming. I can only say that the words MUSTARD GAS immediately flashed into my skull. We were both staring wide eyed at each other trying to hold our breath. That little scared woman dropped record setting ass and had no idea that two other humans would need to immediately enter the fallout zone.

My fellow victim got out on his floor and I stepped out as well opting for another ride. Once the door closed I felt it was safe and resumed regular breathing. Not long after I started to laugh. That poor woman might have just checked out of the hotel lest she run into either of us again.

I do worry for her health. I almost dry heaved on initial contact and the way she flew out of the space she knew it was bad. Awful and awesome all rolled into one.

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