off the road


Last week in St. Paul signalled a brief rest and as I ran in to an old friend over the weekend the topic of that city came up. This dude was always a bit of a tool and has no idea that this nonsense exists so I don’t risk offending him anymore by writing. We hadn’t seen each other in more than ten years when we worked together and it turns out that we both ended up in jobs with a bunch of travel.

He asked where I had been so I mentioned the scenic but obviously challenged sibling half of the Twin Cities. He had been there once so we went back and forth about no one seeming to live downtown after dark and the human habitrails only selling things in the morning and afternoon. When I mentioned that my company was based there the conversation took a turn.

His is based in New York and this moron thought he was delivering a shot by comparing the two metropolitan areas. My mind began to wander because I could not comprehend anyone talking about these two parts of the country in a comparison situation. The look on my face must have given away my internal consternation because he immediately became defensive. “What, I suppose you’ve got something smartassed to say about St. Paul being better?”

It turned out that he had some different memories of our time working together and apparently I was not one of his favorite coworkers. Once the yoke of pretending to be nice was taken off of my shoulders I felt free to be me again. Oh, I should also mention that me and this fella were not the best of friends. I was being tolerant and friendly as to acknowledge a previous relationship willing to forget old feelings in a spirit of water under the bridge. His words instantly burned the bridge so I felt it was my job to blow up the pilings.

“What flavor of fucking asshole would compare St. Paul Minnesota to New York New York? You are the exact same douche just ten years older and the chip on your shoulder is turning into a Dowager’s hump. Holy Horseshit could you tell me about your super cool car next?”

He didn’t even say goodbye.

I do so love running in to old acquaintances.

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