Figure it out

Someone needs to figure this internet shit out ASAP. When I talk about internet shit I mean that it needs to be a utility that gets piped into your home and you pay for the speeds you want and that’s it. I realize that is exactly what they claim it is now but Holy Happy Horseshit I spent two hours on the phone last night trying to untie the knot that is one of my two internet bills. This bundle bullshit shell game has got to go.

I know, waaaah, you have two houses that need internet… you need to stifle yourself because that house on the lake is a boil on my financial ass but it makes my wife happy so it is a necessary evil. (deep mental breath after that awful run on and on sentence) One of the ways to reduce the discomfort is to rent the thing out to help defray costs… Nowadays that doesn’t happen without connection to the matrix.

Anyway, there aren’t a ton of choices up in Hooterville so I ended up with Xfinity. They put me on some two-year triple nonsense that means having a phone number that doesn’t ring anywhere is supposed to save me $30 a month. I don’t really understand but I’m sure this idiocy translates into Walstreet number fluffing that makes them look good somehow. I just happened to look and my bill went up like my blood pressure.

Turns out some of my deal expired and there were some charges for equipment that I never returned. The only problem is that the equipment was for the phone I never had which means I don’t have it to give back. Oh, and all the movie channels that were included now cost more than if I were to subscribe to them individually on the line.

So, this has been a big boring setup to the one bright spot in last nights time suck. I had my third person on the phone talking to me about returning the phone modem thing I never got and if I had it the location would be two states away from my current location. I was frustrated and asked the person if they could call me on that number from another line.

When they said they were I pretended that I thought I heard it ringing and told them it was weird because I don’t remember plugging a phone into the thing. The smug asshat on the other end of the line told me “it’s okay, it happens all the time.” WHAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME? PEOPLE PLUG IN AND SUBSEQUENTLY LOSE THEIR LANDLINE PHONES? I WAS KIDDING YOU IDIOT, MAKE THE CHARGES GO AWAY.

It shouldnt be this hard. Maybe the cell phone people will figure out the 5g nonsense and I can make the home internet thing just go away. My faith in that Costco sized pack of dildos isn’t really strong so I wont be holding my breath.

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